Friday, January 30, 2009

Plan B (this isn't about birth control)

On many occasions, I have marveled at the different high school experiences that Hubby and I had. I was a Good Girl. I never got into trouble (read: never got caught in anything more than minor mischief), I didn't drink, didn't smoke, and pretty much followed the rulz. Hubby on the other hand, did not. I'm sincerely amazed that he made it to and through college, much less to adulthood. Because of his partying ways, he somehow established the nickname, The Zorn. I don't get it, I don't understand it. But I have seen it in action and been amazed by the party power of The Zorn.

Because of this, I often worry about what the future holds for the Mini. Will he be The Saint or The Sinner? Or maybe a hybrid of the two? I've already decided that in order to delay additional graying of my hair and to help him make it to adulthood with a completely functioning body and all of his limbs intact, I must plan for the future.

Plan A.
At age 12, Mini will be informed that if he gets "A's" in junior high and high school, successfully obtains scholarships to pay for schooling, and maintains this success through college, upon graduation he will receive any and all money left over in his college fund to use as he wishes. Travel the world, down-payment on a house, cars, whatever. It is my firm belief that the promise of this money will encourage him to bury his nose in the books and eliminate any desire to duplicate The Zorn. If he were to labor under the misguided belief that the fund is larger than it actually is, I, of course, cannot control that. This is bribery of the highest order.

After further consideration, I came up with Plan B and immediately realized that Plan B is likely to have fewer loopholes or potential problems as Plan A (what if, by the time Mini reaches age 12, he's just not the absolute GENIUS that he is now?). So, Plan B is the New Plan A.

Plan B (but really A)
Commencing immediately, use of the computer will be encouraged. Monitored, of course. Since most habits, personality traits, characteristics are pretty much set in stone by age 5, I will spend the next 2 ½ years turning Mini into a computer nerd. If I shape him NOW to become a nerd, by the time he reaches high school, he will be more interested in pounded away on the computer keys, doing projects for science fairs and studying the migration habits of ants than he will in turning himself into the second coming of The Zorn.

Now, this is not to suggest that by being less like Hubby will make him happier, more successful, etc. But, it definitely increases his chances of survival.


Coco said...

This is a great plan! I might do this with both kids. Hmmmm.....

I too was the good girl. My hubby? Not so much the good boy. WILD ASS! Like you, I have no idea how he is still alive.

Something In The Glass said...

You know, I'm beginning to think you and I were separated at birth.

Impulsive Addict said...

The roles were reversed for me and my hubby. At least I know all the tricks and can stop them when I see them forming in our future child's eyes. (Let's hope)

I love both plan A and B. Good luck with that!