Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dear Mack Brown,

So, you’ve declared your team the best in the nation. Number One, you say, no matter who wins the BCS Championship. Numero Uno, despite the fact that Utah has a stronger claim than yourself. Number One despite the fact that Sweet Pete Carroll is saying the same thing about his Trojans. What exactly is it that you makes you Number One?

Let’s just put aside the fact that the Big 12 South ended in a 3 way tie and the fact that Oklahoma beat both Texas Tech and Oklahoma State by much larger margins than you could even sniff at. Instead, let’s talk about the system that you are thumbing your nose at, now that it’s not working in your favor (believe me, you’d be singing a different tune if the Longhorns were headed to Florida tomorrow night).

You see, good or bad…the BCS system isn’t solely about winning and losing, or how much you win by, it’s also about the opponents you play and where you play them. These things can either weaken your argument for number one, or strengthen it. It’s about strategy, something that you are sorely lacking and I won’t speculate as to why (because that would make me look like an ageist).

So, let’s just look at some factors that contributed to the fact that your win over Oklahoma really did nothing for you in the end….

Who You Played: Non Conference Schedule
You played Florida Atlantic (where the hell is that?), Rice (seriously?) and Arkansas (the Razorbacks ain’t what they used to be). Here’s a little tip: Take Bob Stoops’ lead and add some serious contenders to your line up like Cincinatti, who went to the Orange Bowl, and TCU who went to the Poinsettia Bowl. Granted, it was the Poinsettia Bowl, but at least it was a bowl….AND they won. Throw in a trip to the West Coast or the Southeast. You might get a little more respect then.

Where You Played
You only took your boys out of state THREE TIMES. Three. Counting to three might seem really high to you, but trust me…it’s not. Oh, and one of those trips was to the Fiesta Bowl where you ONLY BEAT OHIO STATE BY THREE POINTS. I understand there are a lot of football games to be played in Texas, but you know what they say…variety is the spice of life. (Don’t get me started on my conspiracy theory that Texas Law only allows people to leave the state on a limited and highly regulated basis, otherwise they might realize there is a really big world out there, and – gasp! - leave…)

So, I hope this helped clear things up for you a bit. I know this might have come across as a little blunt or harsh. I’m sure you don’t have many people telling it to you straight. I’m happy to take on the role. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got much respect for you.

But you wear me out.

Sincerely,
KDK, Chief Steward
Something in the Glass Household

PS - if anyone reading this is from TX...relax. Take a deep breath, don't be offended. Oklahoma and Texas are like siblings, we can talk shit about each other, but it's all in good fun...

7 comments:

Mamalicious said...

Get over yourself, Mack Brown. You are not numero uno this year. That being said, the BCS if flucked up and needs a reno.

I'm ready for tomorrow!!!

Holly

Coco said...

I am a Texan and HATE UT. But I have a tiny crush on Mack Brown. Weird huh?

Being a Red Raider I was very happy to see Tech whip some UT ass. Barely, but we did it. Nothing makes me want to poke my eyeballs out more than listening to a UT grad. Nothing.

BUT I will never ever leave Texas, unless a large sum of money is involved. As you probably know, us Texans are obnoxiously proud.

Something In The Glass said...

Oh, wow, Coco. You hate UT??? I think I have a girlcrush on you. :o) Even if you are an obnoxiously proud Texan.

That's okay, I'm an obnoxiously proud Okie. You can take the girl out of Oklahoma, but you can never take the Oklahoma out of the girl.

Oh, and me, too Holly!! BOOOOOOMER!!

Katy said...

go to my blog, something for you on tuesday

Impulsive Addict said...

Found you through Katy's award! You are a freakin' funny girl! Love your blog! BOOMER SOONER!!

Anniebanannie said...

OMG...this is SO true. You are my new friend. I lived in Austin for five years, count em, five, that's a stretch for them since three seems to be. Anyway, an Okie born,I grew to hate UT even more than I would have ever expected. The fans, the colors, the everything drives me NUTSO! Good writing my new friend. BOOMER!

Something In The Glass said...

Anniebannie - I lived in Dallas for a year before moving to Portland. I know EXACTLY what you're talking about.

Thanks for coming by!!