Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Update from the New Floor

Bad news: The women's bathroom on 8 is on the OTHER SIDE of the floor.What a pain.

Good news: There are three stalls.

Why is this good news, you ask? Allow me to explain.

I've indicated in the past that I have a complicated Potty Process.This process benefits greatly from the existence of a 3rd stall, which was not the case on floor 6. The existence of the 3rd stall allows for a great deal more anonymity if pooing (or accidental toots) were to occur.

Someone entering an empty bathroom will inevitably take either the 1st stall or the 3rd. Nobody willingly takes the middle. I've done studies. If a second person enters, they also will take either the 1st or 3rd stall (whichever is not occupied). It is highly unlikely that traffic to the potty will be so great that the middle stall will be utilized. Of course, this is entirely dependent on the time of day. The lunch hour is particularly troublesome.

The middle stall then serves as a cushion, so to speak, and protects any patrons experiencing accidental toots or unavoidable poos (hey, they happen) from Shoe Identification.

So, while I'm saddened that I have to walk further to get to the toilet, my overall Potty Process has been greatly improved with the move toFloor 8. You may breathe easy now, My Followers. I know you have been worried.

Other notes from Floor 8:

Bad news: Inexplicably, Floor 8 has white noise piping through the PA System. This is disappointing in that I constantly feel like I'm on a 9-hour flight, but never seem to land anywhere. Also, like traveling, this noise makes me very tired.

Good news: Nobody can hear me whispering on the phone to my co-workerson other floors.


Impulsive Addict said...

I'm so glad that you can now poo in peace without being shoe recognized! That's fabulous!

Coco said...

I know how the pooing issues are. When I worked in Austin, I quickly discovered the 4th floor was entirely vacant. AND had three differents 3 stalled bathrooms. Pooing in private all the time!!!

The only prob was getting on and off the elevator. I worked on the 1st floor, there was no reason at all that I should be on an elevator. This busted me only once and I am convinced that person knew I had just been pooing. The anxiety was great.

Moral of my story. I have poo anxiety as you do.

Kally said...

Three stall bathrooms rock!!! I would happily walk the extra distance for one more stall. :)