Monday, February 2, 2009

Dear Jessica,

You might want to watch this video.

Now, listen, I’m not here to criticize and I really only have a couple of things to say about this…

Let me begin by saying you look great. Bad outfit and all. Because let’s face it you probably haven’t gained a substantial amount of weight. Your stylist just took you down the wrong road with that terrible outfit (you DID consult your stylist first, right? Right?). And even if you had gained 15 pounds, you’d still be thinner than a good 60% of the women in this country.

Here’s my problem – and it’s not really your fault. But, the celebrities coming forward in your defense? What a bunch of windbags. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some celebrities. But they really need to be mindful of what their purpose is. To entertain us. Not to starve themselves into nothingness, thereby providing the rest of us with lovely body image issues, and then get all touchy when WE criticize THEM for not maintaining the standard that they use to make us feel like SHIT. Talk about wanting your rice cake and eating it, too.

And the worst one defending you? Your sister. She got all pissy and indignant that people are criticizing the way you look and went so far as to inject Barack Obama’s inauguration into it (huh?) and the current state of the world to highlight how ridiculous it is that people would be discussing how you look. Maybe you should remind your sister that looks were SO IMPORTANT to her that she now has a completely different nose and chin. To each his own. I really think Surgically Enhanced Ashlee is much prettier than Regular Ashlee and I’ve said before that if someone offered me a nose job, I’d take it… But you won’t find me being a hypocrite about it.

One last thing: Wear black. It’s very slimming. (With the exception, of course, for that tank top you were wearing. What were you thinking?!?!)

KDK, Chief Steward
The Something In The Glass Household


morewineplease said...

you make a really good point, they are the ones that set these standards!

Impulsive Addict said...

I was going to do a blog on this topic too. I'm a big Jessica fan and yes her outfit was hideous and not the most flattering but calling her a fatass and estimating her weight at 135 is a little extreme. But then's Hollywood where everyone is supposed to be 105 pounds. I have a love/hate relationship with Hollywood.

Something In The Glass said...

The sad thing is that 135 for her height is not extreme. But the media reaction to it is - you'd think she was friggin Shamu or something. That is a HEALTHY WEIGHT.

So, it's kind of a vicious circle with the media AND Hollywood. Hollywood has a self-imposed standard that they all should be size zero, the media (and the rest of us) buy into it waaaay too much and then suddenly, you have a girl who is gorgeous being called fat. It's insane. I don't even want to admit how far I'd need to go to be 135 again.

I remember seeing Megan Mulally (Karen from Will and Grace) on a talk show where she was discussing being "fat" by Hollywood standards...and she's a SIZE EIGHT!!! Ugh. I could seriously get on my soapbox about this.

Coco said...

Amen sister!!! That look was terrible. TERRIBLE! But it showed her looking tiny a week before, therefore, she probably didn't gain 15lbs. 15 lbs in a week is pretty hard to do.

Although, I am willing to give it a shot if cash is involved.