Monday, April 27, 2009


- Verb.

1. to swindle; trick: "That crook conned me out of all my savings. "
2. to persuade by deception, cajolery, etc.

I really love getting these emails. I have a lot of fun imagining ways in which I would respond.

From Miss Cindy Abami

01 bp 25687 abobo 03
abidjan,ivory coast

Dearest One,

I am writing this letter in confidence believing that if it is the wish of almighty for you to help me,the almighty will bless and reward you aboundantly and you would never regreat this.I am Miss Cindy Abami, from Sierra Leone, but now in Abidjan, Cote D'Ivoire.

I am the only Daughter and child of Engineer Williams Philip Abami and my father was a contractor with ministry of works and housing in Sierra Leone and Cote D'ivoire before he died.My father died in feburay 19 2008 after being involved in a motor accident. Before my father died, my mother had earlier died as a result of Diabetes.

Before my father died in the hospital while taking treatment, he told me that there is Four million two hundred thousand united states dollars(US4,200,000.00) he has in a bank here in Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire. He said that the money was meant for establishing a branch of his business in Abidjan - Ivory Coast.

Though, according to my father he deposited the money in his own name and mentioned me in the documents as the next of kin .Before his death he adviced and instructed me to seek for a trust worthy person abroad who will help me invest and manage this money for me until i am capable to handle it.

Now I have succeeded in locating the bank in Abidjan and also confirmed the fund is in there , most honest and confidentiality.But the bank said from the agreement my father has with the bank that i can only claim the money when i am 25 years. And if i am no t upto that age, i should look for a foreigner who will help me in recieving the money and for investment purposes in his or her country.

Now I am seeking for your assistance to help me transfer out this money out from the bank to your account so that you can be able to manage and invest it in any good business in your country and also help me to move out from here so that I can contiune my education which stopped since my parents death.

I am Waiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss how you can assist me on this as my guradian since it is the only condition that the bank said this my inheritance can be release to me at this my present age or i can wait until i am upto 25 years and above. Thanks for your kind attention and i will appreciate to receive your reply to know if you will be able to help me stand as my guardian for my inheritance be release to me through your kind help.

Please i am willing to give you 15% from the inheritance for standing as my guardian and also know that you are going to manage it for me .

Please i am on my kneels begging you to accept standing as my guradian so that my inheritance be transfer out from here.Please i will like you to send this information to me which will be what i will be presenting to the bank when i hear from you.

1.Your name and your address.
2.Your telephone and fax number
Miss Cindy Abami

How I would like to reply (only I'm afraid to because Cindy just might be able to figure out where I live...) :

Dear Cindy,

Thanks for writing, it's good to hear from you. I'm really sorry to hear about your father and that you're having so much trouble finding a "guradian" to help you invest your millions. Maybe it's because nobody is sure what a guradian is. Regardless, you should probably know that I'm not really good at making sound decisions regarding investments. I once racked up about $20k in credit card debt buying shit at Target.

If you find someone to help you out, I would really appreciate it if you could pass along their contact information to me. You see, my great-great-great uncle who I've never met before recently sent me a letter to let me know that he's sending me the deed to this really nifty bridge he owns in Brooklyn. Well, I guess technically I own it now. All I had to do was give him my credit card number so he could charge me the $15,000 bridge-deed-processing fee. It sounds fishy, but it's totally legit. Anyhow, I hear there's good money in bridges these days so if you find someone to help you invest your money, I'd like to see if they want to buy my bridge.

Okay, well, take care. I look forward to hearing from you really soon!!



msprimadonna67 said...

Oh my gosh, I loved your response--it made me laugh out loud!

Impulsive Addict said...

You should TOTALLY send it to her!!! I DARE YOU!

Anniebanannie said...

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! (peer pressure here)